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leave it to a gay male canadian - thursday, december 16, 2010 - 10:20

to let you know that the word "seminal" is offensive to feminists, and should not be used in jacket copy.

"don't bring any coconut flakes to thanksgiving. - tuesday, november 30, 2010 - 22:21

i'm sorry, but they just don't say 'the holidays' to me."

explained to british dude how a salad bar works - tuesday, july 27, 2010 - 13:40

him: and they charge a flat rate?
me: they weigh it. it's $7.99 a pound.
him: thanks, i was trying to fathom that out.

recommendations for me - tuesday, february 16, 2010 - 23:03

"content-based television."

it's snowing in san francisco! - monday, december 07, 2009 - 13:58

i said it's hailing but my boss said people would be ducking if it were hailing. he said, "that's sleet." then he recited this poem for me.

Poem (Lana Turner has collapsed!)
Frank O'Hara

Lana Turner has collapsed!
I was trotting along and suddenly
it started raining and snowing
and you said it was hailing
but hailing hits you on the head
hard so it was really snowing and
raining and I was in such a hurry
to meet you but the traffic
was acting exactly like the sky
and suddenly I see a headline
LANA TURNER HAS COLLAPSED!
there is no snow in Hollywood
there is no rain in California
I have been to lots of parties
and acted perfectly disgraceful
but I never actually collapsed
oh Lana Turner we love you get up


"he probably wants to say no - monday, november 30, 2009 - 13:52

but is too Canadian to do so."

on answering "no" to "are you a student?" at the theater - tuesday, september 01, 2009 - 09:14

"thank you for being honest."

another priceless quote from my boss - tuesday, june 02, 2009 - 15:33

"modernism couldn't have existed without lesbians."

oral arguments - friday, march 06, 2009 - 15:50

chief justice george: how do you define an "inalienable" right
(amusingly, everybody is having trouble pronouncing the word.)
10:30 am mar 5th from web


mom asks, - monday, february 23, 2009 - 16:30

"how could anyone ever disagree with you?"

another symptom of being an only child - tuesday, january 27, 2009 - 18:36

"you always forget that two can play at that game."

disruption message - thursday, january 15, 2009 - 10:29

"12th street station is closed due to civil unrest. i repeat, 12th street station is closed due to civil unrest. 19th street station is now open."

almost lost my phone - monday, december 29, 2008 - 11:15

saw my weekend flash before my eyes.

BART announcement - wednesday, november 19, 2008 - 09:57

"we are looking for a lost skateboard with a black and red image of president-elect obama on it. we are looking for a lost skateboard with a black and red image of president-elect obama on it."

more bad dreams - tuesday, october 28, 2008 - 19:00

mccain won pennsylvania.

missed opportunity - thursday, september 11, 2008 - 09:20

the newly-painted sign for carlos club on 24th and mission no longer reads: "commuters welcome."

checking my boss's email while he's out of town, i find messages entitled: - monday, september 08, 2008 - 15:15

RE: Game night?

slowpokes - monday, august 25, 2008 - 10:46

lead from behind.

everybody's - tuesday, august 19, 2008 - 10:02

gone.

put in my place - monday, june 02, 2008 - 16:18

"there is not a slant steep enough to make that rhyme."

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