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Movies in theaters. - thursday, december 30, 2010 - 19:10

Scott Pilgrim vs the World
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
Babies
The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Black Swan
Kickass
Harry Potter The End Part 1

Shutter Island and Inception

Pirhana 3D

Iron Man 2
Alice in Wonderland
Jackass 3D and Sex and the City 2


Oscar re-cap - sunday, february 22, 2009 - 21:11

Best Supporting Actress:
me: whoopi!
briana: they should each say a word
me: and goldie hawn! why doesn't tilda ever know what to wear??
briana: she is already crying? they are all crying
me: yes. it's exciting! who is she? anjelica houston can't hold still
briana: ha whoopie! what is that dress?
me: mmm. well. you know
briana: why is she wearing sun glasses? clearly she is inside

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button:
briana: i hate that title
me: me too, but they didnt make it up
briana: it still sucks. i wish it would stop winning so they would stop saying it
briana: what do you think is gonna win this?
me: yay hellboy
briana: dark knight?
me: wait
briana: ugh. barf
me: i think the benjamin button movie will win

Jessica Biel:
me: where is JT?? why is her dress so ridiculous??
briana: what is happening w that dress?
me: it's like a peasant top?
briana: she looks like one of those public washcloth things that is just a roller of one piece of cloth

Seth Rogan/James Franco:
me: this is awesomemmm
briana: i am into this. i wish this was the whole thing
me: hahaha. me TOO. HA they showed zohan!! i love it
briana: this oscars is for you. seth rogan needs to ditch the velvet
me: yes. i have a theory about nerds and velvet. Here it goes: They like it.

The musicals-are-back number:
briana: what is b wearing????
me: way to miss the most confusing part of the oscars so far. that was a mess
briana: yeah, i kinda peeked in. it didnt look good

Alan Arkin:
me: alan arkin is dead? isn't he??
briana: aparently not
me: HE IS TOTALLY SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD
briana: ha
me: I can't believe he is still alive

Eddie Murphy:
me: what? eddie murphy?
briana: i was just gonna write exactly that! what is happening?
me: he makes more babies than faces

The Windows commercial:
me: i like this 4.5 year old baby who plays with technology
briana: yes. where are her mom and dad that she is sending photos to them?

Alicia Keyes:
me: alicia keys is awesome
briana: i dont like that color
me: IT"S PURPLE
briana: but i like the fabric thats happening. yes. I DONT LIKE PURPLE
me: also, look at her earrings. funnn. distract yourself
briana: woah. her earrings arrrre fun
me: see
briana: good job. note: they are not purple
me: agreed
briana: what is happening w alicias makeup?
me: she is pretty

The songs:
briana: indian craigslist dancers!!!
me: they are probably going to win, since they have two of the three songs
briana: yeah. his hairline is weird
me: but the wall e song is good. wait. i don't actually know what it is. is this the wall-e song? i think so. i like this.
briana: i have no idea. i like his dimple
me: i love choirs
briana: haha
me: this wins
briana: those outfits are terrible. neon? really?
me: unless the last song has a choir
briana: steve said they look like highlighter pens. leggings?
me: it's like that bidibidi bom song selena sang
me: woot!
briana: this is out of control
me: that was fun. yes please. PURPLE
briana: why do they have beads in front of their lady parts? PINK
me: ooh. mia. like her too
briana: look at that girls boob!!!!
me: PETER GABRIEL! WINWINWINWIWNW

Sophia Loren:
me: sophia loren is terrible. she looks like a messy old lion
me: AGHGHHGSDGSD
briana: hahahaha
her sleeves are out of control
me: her everything
me: her plastic surgery, her make up, her tan
her dress
her hair
briana: her drunk
me: http://www.leninimports.com/sophia_loren_gallery_16.jpg

Kate Winslet:
me: YAY. I like her. She is lovely
briana: wooooo! i love the back of her dress. steve says her hair looks like a crazy flying helmet? i might cry
me: i haven't seen it from the side
briana: her speech is adorable. its slicked back
me: awwwwwwwww
briana: there you go. awwww. she is the best
me: love herrr
briana: me toooooo

Sean Penn:
briana: shocker. i wish it was one of those other two guys
me: me too
me: that sentence failed to make sense. the last one he said
briana: he is my brother? he didnt thank robin wright
me: blessed to work in a country where creative artists mickey rourke is my brother
briana: they are bros

Montages:
briana: ha
i wish they didnt give so much away about the movies
me: I KNOW
unless i am not planning to see it
briana: exctly
me: then they might convince me to see it
briana: in which case it is helpful

Question. (Ha, that's ironic.) - friday, december 05, 2008 - 14:55

Can you tell if someone has a beard, based solely on hearing them speak? I think this might be possible.

Dude hit my car - wednesday, july 30, 2008 - 10:23

My car got rear-ended by a U-Haul the other day, and dude is being a huge butt-hole.

Initially I thought he was pretty awesome for coming forward and admitting that he had done it, after I stood in the street and cursed for a minute b/c someone had hit my car without leaving a note. This made me be nice to the guy.

I called insurance and logged the claim and dude was like, Oh, I don't have my insurance card on me, but I also don't want to log a claim through my insurance. And I was like, okay, well let me call some people and figure out how much it will be. And my dad, who works on cars for fun, says $500 should be an okay amount. I tell dude, dude says, I talked to some people who said it'd be like $250 or as low as $200. And I was like, FINE, I will go get some estimates.

I drive around for an hour and a half, and get estimates: $950, $900, and $769. I tell dude. Dude says, "Okay, are you still cool with the $500?" "No, b/c I just found out it's going to cost more." So I ask $600. Dude is like, "well I don't know. I saw these parts online for $15." "WHAT?" "How picky are you about the parts? Because maybe we can tag-team and get parts on the internet and it will save me some money and maybe save you some stress." "No, that seems MORE stressful, b/c then I have to collect the parts and they have to be the right parts and they have to fit properly, and it will take longer, and I still have to hire someone to do the work."

(ALSO he broke off our doorbell, which, granted, was taped to the wall, but had been there and had been fine for like three years until he touched it.)

This morning I grew impatient with the situation. I am asking for less than even the lowest estimate I got, and dude is still wishy-washy. He didn't have his insurance on him when he hit my car, which is illegal, he didn't believe me when I said $500 was reasonable, he doesn't trust the quotes I got, and he doesn't want to take responsibility with his insurance company. I sent a message this morning that said he pays the $600 or I want his policy number and he has to decide by tomorrow. We shall see.

UPDATE: I got an e-mail from him saying check will be in the mail tomorrow morning!!!!!!!! Getting impatient pays!

Sigh. - monday, august 14, 2006 - 09:20

It is a very special occasion when I post a blog, and I think having our second couch in two weeks stuck in the hallway stairs, blocking the entrance to our apartment totally counts. Nothing like spending a whole day picking up a nice, $100 couch that doesn't fit through your doorway.

Strong opinions I developed by perusing Craftster.org: - wednesday, august 09, 2006 - 10:46

1. Modge Podge does everything.
2. Every definition of craft I have seen (except obviously "aircraft" and that sort of thing) implies, at the very least, a moderate degree of skill. Without any "skill," one cannot craft. Thereby, taping flowers to a box is not a craft. (Nor is gluing flowers to a box.)
3. Most people who do crafts are extraordinarily supportive and do not criticize other crafters. This is ridiculous, and perpetuates the "taping things to paper = craft" misconception. (Or, said crafters are truly amazed by very obviously simple things.)
4. Teenagers and grown-ups should have different ideas about what constitutes a craft.
5. Curtains and pillows must be easy to make.


4 times? - tuesday, july 11, 2006 - 09:45

D's poop posts haunt me.
[Now I feel like I need to clarify that I did not, in fact, poop 4 times in a day. I don't think I've ever pooped more than twice in a day.]

Mitch Hedberg - thursday, april 20, 2006 - 13:57

Is freaking HILARIOUS. I can't even deal with it. I cried in my cubicle twice today b/c I was laughing so hard. I can't pay total attention to it or I would start laughing incessantly out loud and make an ass of myself.
Spaghetti and blankets.

Joan Jett - thursday, april 13, 2006 - 11:28

Can you even get away with naming your back-up group "the Blackhearts" anymore?

Update: - monday, february 13, 2006 - 16:34

Now I wish Del Taco was where La Calaca Loca is, except next door, b/c I also like La Calaca Loca. I would order a big fat chicken taco every day until I couldn't handle it anymore. Then I'd switch to chili fries.

What? - thursday, january 26, 2006 - 13:29

I found a math phrase that I didn't understand in this thing I'm line-editing and I looked it up on dictionary.com and I still didn't understand it, so then I thought "I am math-tarded" and then I wondered if that was an accurate thing to say, so I looked up "retard" in the regular dictionary and it said "developmentally disabled" and also "sometimes used as a term of derision." Then I looked up the word "gay" and it said at the bottom of the entry "The word has ceased to be slang and is not used disparagingly." This is blatantly untrue, as well as being proscriptive, and I can't get over it.

Solutions - wednesday, december 14, 2005 - 15:42

I have (re)discovered a couple of specific things I would like to improve about myself that will make the world a better place.

These are:
1. Develop ability to recognize difference between what is a "big deal" and what is a "small deal" (excluding those things that result in positive reactions).
2. Try to recognize and halt immaturity that pushes in a problem-causing direction.

This seems like enough to concentrate on for a year.

Hungry - sunday, february 13, 2005 - 18:55

I miss Del Taco. I wish it was where the Taco Bell is in Albany. Man.

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