For the love of God, you idiot... - friday, may 06, 2016 - 13:31
...when SFist posts something about the homeless, NEVER GET INVOLVED IN THE COMMENT THREAD.
Consistency and commitment. - tuesday, december 15, 2015 - 13:57
My roommate didn't pay the cable bill and we're evicted at the end of the month so he doesn't plan to anyway.
Commitment and consistency. - monday, november 16, 2015 - 16:47
I'm going to use the internet less when I'm at home.
An Open Letter to a Musician - tuesday, september 29, 2015 - 11:39
Dear harpist as UCSF Moffitt-Long:
I understand you are here to calm anxious family members awaiting news of their loved ones' procedures. However, if you're going to wear a flowing grey blouse you may as well double-down with a gold circlet.
Sartorially in memoriam,
To the various and assorted crackheads of the Tenderloin. - saturday, august 23, 2014 - 10:39
I feel like we need talk about boundaries right now. This isn't the first time this has happened. If you're going to smash my window, at least steal something. Otherwise I feel like the quality of my possessions is being unfairly judged, by crackheads, who are breaking my car, on crack.
So I work in Oakland now. - friday, august 15, 2014 - 11:58
Meaning, for the first time in nine years, I have a justification for being on this website.
More thoughts on Ken Layne & Wonkette. - friday, march 02, 2012 - 15:40
In an attempt to make my word dot about anything other than women and my alternating swoons and tantrums, I present the following observation, which was deemed too niche and dweeby for talk dot.
Ken Layne quitting Wonkette is sort of curiously timed, because they've been on an insane hiring binge ever since Kristen Boyd Johnson started. And now that KBJ has actually learned how jokes work, Ken has sold the blog* even as it represents what may be its best crew since the second Bush midterms. KBJ is a competent raw meat thrower, Kaia Mursi is an out-of-nowhere bundle of awesome, Jim Newell offers reassuring continuity aka anal sex jokes, and Liz Colville... Bestill my heart, Liz Colville is a rad writer and now and forever will be my secret internet crush. (Also, she lives in Oakland but SHUT UP GUYS DON'T LOOK OVER THERE BE COOL GAWD.)
Anyway. Bye Ken. I really do think you murdered Andrew Breitbart and were last seen riding a puma up the Pearblossom, wearing a sandwich board saying "The end is nigh" and carrying a fifth of whiskey and a copy of City of Quartz.
*The fact that he sold it to another journalist makes me think perhaps these here blog things don't actually make any fucking money whatsoever, still.
Who's jealous of unicorns? - tuesday, january 25, 2011 - 08:26
My ex's new boyfriend has a degree from Columbia and a moderate c.v. of published poetry.
And is also a taxi-squad Quad-A player for the Rays.
I know I'd date him.
Reassurances issued to ex-girlfriends in the past six months. - tuesday, february 09, 2010 - 20:03
(in order of breakup, starting from most recent)
1. Yes, I still care for you.
2. It's not just you, Lush Life really wasn't all that good.
3. You don't have hantavirus.